It is a fascinating experience to wake up when the micro-world around you is still asleep; a combination of adrenaline, wonder and restlessness all in silence set to the musical noises of nothing but a typing keyboard and empty house. I wish I could explain my inconsistent circadian sleep rhythm as a result from the delicious Indian food I had last night jazzing my system up, but it’s realistically more likely due to the fact life is terrifyingly wonderful now.
It’s almost like I can’t breathe because I am so excited to be alive and so inspired that all the neurons of my brain are on fire and dancing. When this feeling takes over in the night and I can’t sleep, I almost always turn to writing to process it all. For the first time I will be processing it here, in this space and here it goes…
This summer so far has been one that I will never forget because of the people I have met, food I have ate and places I have been. I concluded the first, fascinating year of college by packing up my dorm room, saying farewell to my roommates and friends and going home for a short week before I took off for a month long adventure throughout Southeast Asia with my mother. I sent friends off to the airport and packed my luggage for an adventure that I can wholeheartedly say was one that will go down in the books forever. It happened when it needed to and that is something that I can’t be more grateful for; timing is everything. It was an extraordinary trip that took me to eight countries, six of which I traveled through and two that I just ran around their airport. I did not find myself on this trip, nor was I looking, but I met some of the most unique and quirky individuals and shared countless meals that I laughed my way through with beautiful conversation. My feet touched some of the worlds most historic sites, I ate some food that ignited my tastebuds and literally danced in the rain simply because I felt like it in the moment. I returned a month later back to the States with thousands of photos, emotions to process, inspiration and ideas and thirst to keep on dancing in life.
Coming home for me is always proves more challenging for me compared to leaving and this time was no different, but what made the difference was that I have kept busy enough to halt the severe travel blues that I often experience. Between family visits, going to visit family, trips to the mountains, road trips, unpacking and packing (these are all starting to sound like synonyms for each other), I have barely had the chance to take stock of everything. I am treading water with my head afloat and while I am looking for land, I never want to fully arrive there because it’s too much fun moving around. This has also been a challenging summer in watching those I care about truly hurt, saying goodbye to relationships and observing intense suffering and feeling helpless and ethically confused about what to do.
The world remains so complicated and complex as it evolves and I never think I have the answer for it all, but that doesn’t stop me from constantly questioning everything and my place in it or out of it. If there is one thing I truly know right now, it’s that I am here and enjoying experiencing it all. There is beauty in pain and pain in beauty and to love one is to understand and accept the other. I don’t have all the answers at five in the morning, but for now I am going to cuddle with two adorable dogs, drink some water and enjoy listening to the pitter-patter of the rain.